Becoming Jake
by Harry James Peralta
Summary: The short story of Jacob Peralta growing up as a transgender male. FTM Jake Jake/Amy slight Jake/Gina One Shot


Jake Peralta age fourteen sat on the bus alone, every single day, watching angrily out the window when a girl sat next to him.

"What's popping lil mama?" she asked him, her body pressed against him looking at him expectantly. "Gina Linetti," she said to Jake with a half grin.  
"Jana Peralta," he responded in a strangled voice, he hadn't talked to a girl his age since sixth grade, two full years ago, actually he hadn't talked to anyone his age in nearly two full years. The girl next to him made a face.

"What kind of name is Jana?" she asked, "it does not fit you," Gina said with a face, "don't worry thought, we'll find a new name for you."

Jake Peralta age sixteen bounced his leg nervously, sitting on Gina's bed. "Out with it girl," Gina said pacing the room, Jana Peralta made her so damn nervous and she never figured out why.

"I don't know how to tell you," Jake said biting his lip a single tear threatening to leak down his stupid face.

"Girl, you can tell me, literally, anything." Gina said with a bright smile trying to reassure her basically only friend.

"Well that's the problem," Jake said sadly, Gina looked at him confused and almost angrily. "I don't think I'm a girl," he said finally.

"That literally makes so much sense," Gina almost shrieked excitedly throwing herself at Jake wrapping her too tight arms around him. "I told you you weren't no stinking Jana," Gina said brightly.

"I've been going by Jake," he said helpfully.

"Jake Peralta," Gina responded, "has a great ring to it, my best friend Jake freaking Peralta," Gina grinned at him.

Jake Peralta, age nineteen had changed more than he thought possible in three years. He had come out to his family, graduated high school, got into college, found a therapist he liked. Kept his best friend, Gina Linetti. Everyone knew him as Jake, he changed his name, but his gender marker was proving difficult without having had surgery or started taking testosterone.

"Gina Linetti," he said answering his phone with a grin.

"Jacob Linetti," she responded and he rolled his eyes even though he knew she wouldn't have seen that. "Jakey," she yelled through the phone, "I got that gig with the dance group," she told him.

"Hells to the yes, Gina Linetti, you dancing queen!"

"Oh, I'm behind you," she grinned as he turned around and he hung up his cellular phone.

"Congratulations Linetti," he smirked at her opening his arms and they embraced, best friends for five years and showing no signs of slowing.

Jake Peralta age twenty one and three quarters held Gina's hand tightly and closed his eyes. "You're fine Jakey," she told him soothingly, "it's just a little shot," she whispered.

"I know it is," he told her, but he couldn't stop shaking, the needle in his hand shaking hard as he attempted to consider poking the sharp needle through the skin of his own thigh.

"Do you want me to do it Jake?" she asked, they had been friends since the age of fourteen, but he needed to do this himself, and his eyes glanced at her.

"Can I just take a little break and we can come back in maybe five teensy minutes?" he asked, she kissed his forehead.

"Of course Jakey." They retired to his living room and his shaking hands calmed down to slight tremors as she ran her fingers through his hair. She pressed a light kiss to his lips, they never dated, but they did love each other. "Your time is up love, lets stab you in the thigh and then go get some celebratory ice cream, even if you don't do it yourself today, you will next time." Jake nodded.

"I need to do it," he whispered to her, and she accompanied him to the bathroom where he sat on the edge of the bathtub and gave himself his first shot of testosterone.

Jake Peralta age twenty two would not cry. His breathing erratic, blinking away the tears as soon as they appeared. He was the only person left in the locker room at the police academy. "You will not cry Peralta," he whispered to himself, but it was too late, a hot salty tear streaked down his left cheek. He wiped it angrily and threw his bag into his locker slamming it furiously, the sound of the slam echoed through the empty locker room.

"Alright Peralta?" asked another trainee, Diaz, as he exited the locker room.

"I'm fine," he gritted out. The Latina girl looked at him with a single raised eyebrow.

"It's cool, we don't have to talk, I heard what your locker buddies were talking about," She said more tenderly than he thought she was capable of at all. "Listen, my brother is trans, I get it," she said with a shrug, "lets get lunch and pretend those dips don't graduate the academy." Jake let out a strangled laugh and followed her out of the academy hall.

"Thanks Diaz," he said lightly, "Let's get something to eat then."

"Call me Rosa," she said with a half smile.

"Gina, I made another friend today," he said with a grin into his cell phone.

"Please tell me he's totally hot," Gina groaned into the phone, Jake rolled his eyes.

"Her name is Rosa,"

"You're such a tease Jacob," Gina complained to him. "Tell me you're coming to my dance competition tonight?"

"I'm coming to your dance thing tonight Linetti," he grinned.

Jake Peralta age twenty seven was ecstatic, he was getting a promotion from lonely beat cop to detective, no other cops had guessed he was trans other than Rosa Diaz and after their graduation at the academy they had drifted apart. Rosa Diaz was an intense person and he was thankful for her friendship while it lasted, but he never expected to see her again. Being a stealth trans man as a cop had not been easy so far, but he was excited to become a detective, and now that he had been on testosterone for more than a few months, like when he was a fresh police academy trainee.

"Jake, I need a job so bad, I can barely afford my stinking one bedroom apartment in the shitty part of town, dancing is my life, but it doesn't pay the bills," she groaned leaning against him as they shared a slice of pizza in a small diner.

"Maybe I can get you a job at the precinct?"

"You think so Jakey?" her back against his shoulder moved suddenly as she jumped up to look him in the eyes.

"I'll ask around," he promised.

Jake Peralta, age twenty eight was surviving. His first year as a detective had been excruciatingly difficult. His partner, Boyle, was honestly a fantastic person, but ungodly annoying. Keeping his trans-identity a secret had not been easy so far, but most of his co workers were actually completely clueless. Scully and Hitchcock were the old type of cops, Sergeant Jeffords, was a fantastic person, but also clueless. Santiago overthought things way too much to figure him out. Gina, well, Gina had known him since he was 14, so she knew, but she also knew he wasn't going to tell anyone.

"Gina," he greeted entering the precinct late one morning, she was there, pretending to work hard.

"Jacob," she responded with a casual grin.

"Pizza tonight?" he asked her with an eyebrow raised, tonight they were celebrating their 14th year of friendship. Fourteen years to the day since they had met on that lonely Manhattan bus.

Jake Peralta, age twenty nine leaned back in his desk chewing on the tip of a pen when his captain, Captain McGintly opened his office door to make an announcement.

"Attention," he announced quietly, attention snapped to him, he rarely came out of his office for anything, much less to make announcements. "A new detective will be joining our team this afternoon, please make her feel welcome.' and that was all McGintly said before he went into his office and closed it. Jake heard the elevator ding and glanced up from his thick file on his desk, but nothing could prepare him for who would walk out of those doors. Rosa, motherfucking, Diaz. Her eyes met his and she nodded at him, he made note to ask her how her brother was and maybe they could go get lunch together tomorrow. He didn't reintroduce himself until the end of his shift.

"Rosa Diaz," he said lightly as he leaned against her desk.

"Peralta, Jake," she responded glancing up from her desk, "care for some lunch? For old times sake?" she clarified.

"Sounds great Diaz," he said with a grin and he left for the day.

The next day, lunch came far too quickly, Jake wasn't sure where he and Rosa stood. They hadn't talked in nearly seven years, he knew her nod meant that his secret was safe with her, but what about everything he had missed?

"Ready Peralta?" a gruff voice asked him, he glanced up to see the intense stare of Rosa Diaz, with a hint of smile. Jake nodded a bright grin on his face. Before he knew it they were conversing as if it were old times.

"How is your brother?" Jake asked after they had been at lunch for nearly forty minutes. Rosa's demeanor changed instantly, they had been talking and laughing for what felt like hours.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about that," she managed to say, and from the look on Rosa's face, he wasn't sure if he was ready to know the answer. The rest of lunch was tense and awkward.

Jake Peralta, thirty years old, had it all, the best girlfriend, the best friends, but still, now only Gina, Amy, and Rosa knew about him being trans. Amy because he was sleeping with her, Rosa from the academy, and Gina because she was his friend for the past sixteen years. He found out a few weeks after Rosa's transfer, that she hadn't wanted to talk about her brother because he had committed suicide just several months before, but together they worked through the emotions, Rosa, the emotions of losing a brother, Jake, the emotions of knowing he was one of the lucky trans people and that he had survived and it wasn't fair that Rosa's brother hadn't.

"Thanks Gina," Jake said as he was leaving for the night, she glanced up from her phone to raise an eyebrow at him.

"For?"

"Sitting next to me on the bus."


End file.
